FLASHBACK (Continued) "Letter to You"

Close your eyes, then imagine! Put yourself in the shoes of the one you try to judge, then think if this was you.

 

THERE YOU ARE, With your pedestal and your broken heart. I see now that we are worlds apart. In this gutter I have been placed, disgraced, and shamed.

Then around my neck you've hung your slipknot of blame. On a societal rope I've choked trying to please you. Gagged then suffocated until my guts, I spewed.

 

I SEE YOU, with your disappointed glare, from the safety of your bubble protected from realities flair. I fell from my perch, when I was pushed off the porch. That shit was no accident! It was by force. We both faced the same eviction; you just got saved.

 

Now you have the audacity to question how I behave!

 

I was left.

Then forced to wander.

Late nights alone.

With no hope.

Wondering if anyone cared.

Frozen streets, cold feet, my hustle found me there.

 

Where were you when I needed help? Looking from above?

 

Do you see me? I'm not sure you ever did.

Here I am! The man you decided to have a kid with.

You said that you loved me once, but what's love to you? Is it this fairy tale delusion America feeds you?

 

In that bed she lay. SEPTIC!

In my head I stayed. HECTIC!

 

Comfort and understanding are what I needed from you. A blizzard of emotion is what you threw. In that hospital bed my mom was dead, no longer alive.

 

In that moment, I believe our relationship died!

 

I am here! Do you see me? Well, as disappointed as you may be. I am continuously left alone. As you sit on your throne. Surrounded by family and friends, then supported 'til the end. One thing you must not forget.

 

We still must raise a kid through this shit!

 

1nf@mous!