FLASHBACK (Continued) "Letter to Mom"

I can’t believe it’s almost been two years, and I haven't gotten to talk to you and tell you my fears, doubts, worries, insecurities too.

 

DAZED! I've been lost in a fog without you.

 

When you died, I felt as though I'd lost my heart! It threw me for a loop and tore my soul apart. The only thing I could think was, who is going to understand me now?

 

WEIGHTLESS! I was set adrift among the crowd.

 

They say, it gets better with time! FUCK THAT! WHAT DO THEY KNOW? WHEN THAT LINE WENT FLAT, I WAS TRULY LEFT ALONE. Surrounded by family, yet, in an empty room. Jaw tight, dried eyes, contemplating how to do this without you.

 

The funeral was good. You would have been so proud! I even wrote a speech that almost called some fake Christians out. But I didn't! I kept it you and kept it real. The standing ovation almost touched heaven's heels. It wasn't for me; it was for you. For that loving kindness you shared that helped to see people through.

 

Now it is time to tell you, my mind. I'm back in county looking at more time. Through it all I still feel you! That loving kindness you shared that helped to see me through. I am not going to lie, I picked up the phone once or twice. Then I remembered, DAMN! She's no longer alive.

 

I write this because it is what I need to start my healing process and truly help me grieve. I love you; I miss you; you were everything.

From now until forever, you will always be!

 

LOVE YOU MOM!

1NF@MOUS!